Back to the Future

Happy New Year!!

What a start...some boys down and I am moving forward into an even bigger, messier web of my own spinning!!

Riley is terribly serious and photogenic at the same time so I took some gorgeous photos of him and we had a couple of drinks and a bit of a flirt. Gorgeous with a guitar, absolutely gorgeous.

old fuck buddy lived up to his name completely when he drove me back from Lancaster that night. We had fun. I enjoyed it. He was so rough with me, but I totally got into it...maybe a bit much!! Hehe. I like the unexpected though!!

Nate is in New Zealand visiting family and still in touch via email. This is despite me saying I didn't want anything because it was too complicated. This was, however, after he spent an (how to put this) uneventful night in my bed. Hm.

OK, and lastly but not leastly, is Mr Sheffield. Yes, he is back in my ridiculous Black Widow web. Mr Sheffield and I have been broken up for around 2 months now and haven't seen each other since. Or hadn't until today. 

Every car that drove down my cul-de-sac my heart raced. So when I heard the doorbell go, my palms were sweaty and my mouth dry. There he stood in all his gorgeous glory; still just as handsome as I remembered. Taller, but handsome. 

He held me close for a few seconds and I let go to rush for my 15th wee of the morning.

Off we tootled to Didsbury, the place we first met (on his suggestion). It was lovely. He was apologetic for the way he ended it and that he'd hurt me, he flirted and touched and we even shared a lovely on-the-door-step-kiss; but nothing has changed. He still lives over the Pennines with his parentals. So I don't see how anything could have changed for him. He was the one who couldn't cope not seeing me and living over there whilst I was here. I was quite happy to have space and then when we met up, for it to be lots of fun and so relaxed.

 I still like Mr Sheffield a lot. I was hoping that today I could wrap up what we had and put it to rest. Or at least either confirm I would fight for him or push me away. It has done nothing.

He says the reason behind him coming over is that I am not in his past. But then where do we go from here? Where do I put him? I am even more confused than I was nervous this morning. 

I have been talking about getting a big red Sharpie pen out and drawing a line underneath it, but I don't want to. I want to be with him. All the others seem meaningless compared to him. I know Riley is lovely, but really, I want Mr Sheffield. 

Thing is, it's kind of obvious Mr Sheffield isn't ready for me or a long distance thing. Maybe I should just lay off the web of men for a while and concentrate on something other than them. Because, quite frankly, it's giving me a bit of a headache!!

Any suggestions will be taken quite seriously at this point :)

An Orgy of Choice

In my previous blog it was all about Julian and his very lovely rugby bottom...tehe. 

Firstly, let's turn our eyes to my Cockney Copper (contestant 1). 


He's lovely and thoughtful, and drove 4 hours North just to chat and watch films and be in my company. Yes, it may well have resulted in having, in what can only be described as, a rather inexperienced roll around but it was the thought that counted. The last time I saw him he was a lot slimmer, and had a lot more confidence. 


OK, so he has bulked out a bit (as a woman who expects men to be enamoured with me, size 0 or 20 I should not judge) and he doesn't hold his head as highly...he still makes me laugh, a lot. But there just isn't as much chemistry there as I remember. Maybe it was just my 18 year old self wanting there to be, or maybe I was just comparing him to Julian far too much (hard not to, when he completely blew me away)!! 


Overall, we had a great evening, and then next day, eating my legendary chilli and catching up. Potential for more...watch this space. 


Now, on to my Stalker (contestant 3). This guy had shown some potential to be a bit of naughty fun...turns out he is what I would like to consider a sex addict!! Stalkers' stalker like tendencies had calmed down a bit as I gave him a bit of the old cold shoulder after I'd told him straight he needed to pipe down if he wanted even a sniff of a rendezvous. Thankfully, he did...but to be honest he turned out to be a bit dull without the naughtiness. 


Anywho, I was out for a VERY drunken night with my girls last Saturday when he called me. He was on his way back from a day trip to France with his school (and yes, he is a teacher there, not a pupil). The long and short of it all is that he ended up picking me and Keira after she'd had suffered some major drama with her live-in girlfriend Rae about smoking a cigarette. 


He ended up back at mine and naughty self came back out of the box...now this guy was pretty good with his hands but there was nothing else to write home about. And without sounding too crass, all he wanted to do was to "get his end away". I'm pretty sure there is also somewhere that says you shouldn't sleep with your stalker. Well, why has no one shown me this?! He text me 5 times last night because I hadn't replied and rang me 3 times during the night!! 


I don't half know how to pick 'em, do I?! 


Needless to say, I don't think that I'm going to see him again...not for his want of trying though!!


And what about the rest of the rabble I hear you cry...




...Well, there's my friend Tim, from Lancaster, who told me he loved me over text on a drunken night but then repeated it again whilst sober the next day. 


Then there's a friend of a friend, Riley, who plays guitar beautifully and I am supposedly going to see tomorrow, also in Lancaster. Twist here is that he works with Tim and was sat next to him on the above said drunken night when he also said he fancied me. Great. 


Thirdly, again in Lancaster, is old fuck buddy. He is supposedly bringing me home from my Lancaster adventure on Wednesday...


And finally, yes there is another, is Nate. A 40 year old pilot whom I work with. He has 5 kids and is currently going through a divorce as well as a break up from a girlfriend he had during, and post, marriage. Two words: messy and baggage. I think I need to stay well clear. 


Oh, and there was sadly not a reappearance of Julian this weekend as he has got himself a girlfriend...fast mover hey?! 


If you can keep up with the above, I am going to be very impressed, because I cannot. And more than a few are going to have to go. Julian is naturally out, Stalker definitely is and I reckon Nate probably should be as well. 


What on earth have I got myself into?! 


I shall update you on the three Lancaster lads when I come back later in the week.


Until then, Alice has definitely fallen through the looking glass...










ps. the Mad Hatter's Birthday Tea Party for my big sister went excellently!! I was a huge success!! Maybe I should be a party planner. 

And the results are in...

Well, well, well. 


Here's goes the explanation of how my first of three rendezvous' went with three (of a few) men currently in my life...


...to see a brief description of them see: Rebound Choices. 


Anywho...


...Julian was my contestant number 2!! To put it in his words we have "amazing chemistry". 
It's true. I have never had a session like that with anyone for years!! We literally couldn't keep our hands off one another. He picked me up and carried me around that room like I was as light as a feather!! He was exactly what the doctor ordered...someone to take control and know, with his amount of experience, what every single kiss and touch would make me feel. 


To add to all of this, he is quite simply an awesome guy: artistic (see photo above; yes I took it but he had his gorgeous camera with him too, snapping away), caring, attentive and intelligent. I could go on. He can be a very misunderstood young man, but is all of the above and much more. It's nice to know we can get on so well and have such an amazing time together too.


Due to the past we shared, it was needed to have a catch up before anything happened. Last time I saw him it wasn't my proudest moment. Basically, Julian got caught up between me and ex-boyfriend. At the time I was choosing between ex-boyfriend and being single. Julian seemed to have got the impression I was choosing between him and ex-boyfriend. Eeek. 


Not so. So, whilst I went back to ex-boyfriend, Julian made out he was an awful guy. So after clearing up exactly what went down 2 years ago, we carried on the drinking and fell into his bed. Hehe.


Well, that's enough for now. Might be seeing him this weekend for my sisters' party, but I doubt it somehow. 


Contestants number 1 and 3 both included naughtiness...need to get my naughty self back in the box for Christmas me thinks...

Rebound Choices...

So, my last blog was a bit wallow-ey wasn't it?! Sorry about that!!


But I'm near enough back to my fantastic witty self (except for still smoking the Richmond Menthol!!) 


So in an attempt to jump back on the single girl band wagon I have got a couple options for my rebound...


Contestant Number 1: I scored myself a hot date for next Friday with a guy who's a PCSO in London. He's a funny flirty guy but we had a little fling back when I was 18. To put it bluntly he didn't know the difference between my clit and my tit. So we shall see if his charm alone will suffice for the time being...but I don't think I'll be jumping between the sheets with him.


Contestant Number 2: However, I am off back to my uni town of Ormskirk to stay with a friend who is very good between the sheets...but we're just going to go for a drink and watch some films...also saying this I don't think we ever made it through a full film together back in my uni days...


And finally, Contestant Number 3: A random guy I met in a pub last Friday who I had no idea I was flirting with until he asked for my number (ah the joys of being so fabulous). Thanks to the wonderful invention of texting I found out he's a bit of a perv though and whilst I slept last night I had 4 texts off him and a missed call. Hm. Stalker like behaviour. But on the plus side he was really cute and quite intelligent. 




So...three very different men. Two from the past (in my books I need that comfortable stage already for a rebound) and one brand spanking new one. 


Well we'll see how Contestant Number 2 bares up tonight!! 

Through the Looking Glass

I'm organising my sisters' birthday party on the 18th of December. I'm doing a Mad Hatter's Tea Party with her starring as the Mad Hatter.

I'm going as Alice and right now I feel like I have fallen through the looking glass. 

How things have turned on their head since I last blogged. 


Short story: Mr Sheffield and I have broken up. He couldn't cope not seeing me; by his facebook statues "painting the town red" making me feel like UTTER shit.


It hurts a lot right now. And is compounded entirely by the fact that I have sore boobs and have a bad case of PMT. 


I was being all strong by getting on with it and being "well at least I can go travelling now, without feeling guilty". But today, I want to curl up in a ball and sob my little heart out. 


I will, at some point probably go into great detail of how all of this occurred, but right now I just want to wallow and be pissed off. 


All his music is on my phone and computer; all the memories (whilst awesome) still very fresh; and I still have his hoody and some of his socks. 


My girl friends keep telling me he's handled it like a shit, my boy mates telling me it was the 3 month turning point. Whatever.


For me, having a boyfriend doesn't usually last this short amount of time. So it came like a rug being pulled from under me. I'm not used to committing unless I think it is something that I think will last, so this is all new to me. 


No idea how to handle this. 


How I have done so far: smoked almost 30 Richmond Menthol in less than a week (I don't actually smoke, so I don't know where this has come from), go to Lancaster to stay with friends, and go on a long walk and have to avoid a kiss (only because it's still so fresh) with my friend and old fuck buddy. 


Any other ideas on how I can make this little heart of mine feel any better would be muchly appreciated.


OK, rant over. 


Got to stop the smoking, it's the dirtiest habit of all time (well maybe not quite, but close) and need to focus on spending time with my friends as much as possible. 


Positive positive positive.


This will stop hurting soon, I know because I've been through much more. 

"Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?!"

You enjoy my singing?! You're going to have the song in your head all day!!


So, 3 months in and my romance with Mr Sheffield is going awesomely. He has continued to make me laugh every day (and scream louder than ever!!) and make me fall head over heels for him :)


But I guess now I am with him, it has made me ask myself why I stayed with someone for so long that made me so unhappy. And also why we go for the wrong people, time and time again. 


Take, Rugby Boy. Him and I were "seeing" each other when the ex-boyfriend decided to tell me one Valentine's that I wasn't actually his girlfriend. Rugby Boy and I hooked up a week later on a joint social. I knew his rep wasn't the best, turned out to be worse than expected too as he'd slept with a crazy amount of both girls and guys. Despite this, I went back several times. Worse still, I ended up back with the ex-boyfriend. But who was the better of the two? I mean, yes, Rugby Boy did have an awful rep but we had fun. With ex-b, it was nearly always heart break central. On reflection then, I went back to the bad. 


Then there's my friend Lexie. She has a major thing for pilots. Now, don't get me wrong, some pilots are lovely and down to earth, but for the majority they know everyone's checking them out and they bask in every eyelash fluttering. This spells bad news right away!!


When I met Lexie she was totally in love (and in denial about it) with Mr Pilot. He, however, had other ideas. With some serious support she managed to walk away after 18 long months. But now, after 6 months of being good, she's back to square one. And yet again, he has a girlfriend. Oh did I not mention that? Yeah he always has a girlfriend, therefore Lexie is always the other woman. Not my cup of tea but some women don't mind playing second fiddle. That's besides the point. She still keeps going back - but why?


I mean, Far Away Boy - I knew how screwed up he was but I just kept going there. 


And take my friend Jack: he keeps sleeping with his ex because she sends him dirty picture messages whilst he's on his way to pick up his 2 year old!! This is despite her seeing someone else, and telling him in great colour and animation every detail of their relationship!!


I mean, men and women, we always go back to the ones we know are bad. 


Is this because it's comfortable, even though we know it will mean hurt and heart break? Is one night of passion worth all the shit that comes afterwards? 
Is there a rush because you know it's bad? Does it make the sex better? Or are we all just a bit bad deep down? 


The only thing I know is, it doesn't matter how hard you try, you will just keep going back until you find someone to move on with. I guess even then, you end up reminiscing. 

Excuses excuses: Mr Sheffield

So, I'm back!! 


I am quite aware that I have been away for a little over 2 months...and for that, I am truly sorry. Although I do have a couple of pretty good reason for that, at least I think so. 


So, number one, I have gone and sold out and got me a pretty hot boy to tag along with for the time being :)


He's 23, blue/grey eyed, tall, handsome, ridiculously sarcastic, makes me smile on a daily basis and seems to think that I'm pretty gorgeous, even on the post-drinking mornings. 


We have been seeing each other, yes you guessed it, about 2months. So, yet again, yes, that is the reason I've not been blogging. Bad excuse really, especially when I usually just blog about my love life!! 


My excuse for not telling you sooner is that I have been ridiculously busy at work with it being peak season in full swing. 


But as the season is easing off with a mere TWO flights on a Wednesday I remembered about my little blog that I had left to wilt in the summer sun and then get pissed on in the September rain.


Therefore, I am going to nurture you back to health little blog, and I promise not to let the frost get you over the big freeze of Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas. 


So, my guy.


Yes, for those of you out there that pay any attention to me, I did meet him on a dating website, But no, he is not deranged, crazy, obsessive, a sex addict, alcoholic, psychotic killer...well he hasn't shown any tendencies towards any of these attributes just yet anyway! Ha!


When I joined my chosen dating hub, I genuinely just wanted to explore the possibilities of dates, I was not expecting to find anyone quite like Mr Sheffield; and I definitely did not expect to fall for him!!


I should've realised after date one when he had leant over to kiss me only an hour in, we'd eaten risotto and mussles and then stayed up all night drinking tea and talking that this was going to be something to write home about. But the truth is, it just kept on getting better. 


He took me to Scarborough for the day where we ate fish and chips and played on the 2p machines for hours (you should've seen the booty we came home with!!). But the basis of our relationship focuses around cooking together and then eating and having sex, and I love it. It's passionate and lovely. 


We have both had our moments of "this is going way too fast" but have both actually embraced it and are now just enjoying being with someone chilled out and fun. 


So, to conclude, I am riding the wave that is me and Mr Sheffield for however long it lasts, and savouring every moment.