"Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?!"

You enjoy my singing?! You're going to have the song in your head all day!!


So, 3 months in and my romance with Mr Sheffield is going awesomely. He has continued to make me laugh every day (and scream louder than ever!!) and make me fall head over heels for him :)


But I guess now I am with him, it has made me ask myself why I stayed with someone for so long that made me so unhappy. And also why we go for the wrong people, time and time again. 


Take, Rugby Boy. Him and I were "seeing" each other when the ex-boyfriend decided to tell me one Valentine's that I wasn't actually his girlfriend. Rugby Boy and I hooked up a week later on a joint social. I knew his rep wasn't the best, turned out to be worse than expected too as he'd slept with a crazy amount of both girls and guys. Despite this, I went back several times. Worse still, I ended up back with the ex-boyfriend. But who was the better of the two? I mean, yes, Rugby Boy did have an awful rep but we had fun. With ex-b, it was nearly always heart break central. On reflection then, I went back to the bad. 


Then there's my friend Lexie. She has a major thing for pilots. Now, don't get me wrong, some pilots are lovely and down to earth, but for the majority they know everyone's checking them out and they bask in every eyelash fluttering. This spells bad news right away!!


When I met Lexie she was totally in love (and in denial about it) with Mr Pilot. He, however, had other ideas. With some serious support she managed to walk away after 18 long months. But now, after 6 months of being good, she's back to square one. And yet again, he has a girlfriend. Oh did I not mention that? Yeah he always has a girlfriend, therefore Lexie is always the other woman. Not my cup of tea but some women don't mind playing second fiddle. That's besides the point. She still keeps going back - but why?


I mean, Far Away Boy - I knew how screwed up he was but I just kept going there. 


And take my friend Jack: he keeps sleeping with his ex because she sends him dirty picture messages whilst he's on his way to pick up his 2 year old!! This is despite her seeing someone else, and telling him in great colour and animation every detail of their relationship!!


I mean, men and women, we always go back to the ones we know are bad. 


Is this because it's comfortable, even though we know it will mean hurt and heart break? Is one night of passion worth all the shit that comes afterwards? 
Is there a rush because you know it's bad? Does it make the sex better? Or are we all just a bit bad deep down? 


The only thing I know is, it doesn't matter how hard you try, you will just keep going back until you find someone to move on with. I guess even then, you end up reminiscing. 

Holiday Revelations: Part Dos

My amazingly good mind powers were working a treat as we sped over the run way and into the city. Jumping off the bus, still freaking out, we hot footed it up the 72 steps and into our building. Just as I pull out my phone to look at my newest text he bursts through the door. Cock. Bastard. Shit. 

Ok, number 1. I do not want to EVER see an ex, recent or not, being sweaty and travel worn. 

Number 2. Seriously what the buggery is he playing at?!

Luckily, at this precise moment my mother chooses to unlock the door to the flat. What was waiting inside can only be described as a small lake and a lot of ceiling on the floor. Apparently someone up there was looking down and saw we needed a massive distraction. Thank you (I did go to two cathedrals following this, to thank him in person). 


So, what followed was a mass clean up and a trip to the rates office. Far Away Boy decided it was an awesome idea to come with me. I was highly unamused at this prospect as I'm sure you'll appreciate. I still couldn't even look at him, let alone talk in his direction.


Off we trotted, hot and bothered and still with my skinnies and flight socks on (I have never felt more unattractive). 


I came right out with it...why had he come? 


Wait for it...to be friendly. Couldn't he be friendly????


Short answer: NO!!


I warmed up a bit for the sake of my own sanity but didn't really give much off in the way of this-is-totally-ok-for-you-to-turn-up-to-the-airport-like-this. However, this apparently meant he could flirt with me. 


Now, I may well have warmed up but I did not give him the ok to flirt and be all touchy feely. Definitely NOT ok. I made excuses that I was sweaty. And with each tickley poke I got more and more confused.


When he finally left I was still in sheer shock. However, I felt relieved that it was over. I didn't have anything else left to dread. 


That was, of course until he came to my beach. 


Before you ask, no this beach does not have my name on it (the sea has a tendency to wash it away no matter how many times I write it) and no I cannot purchase it. Shame, really.


But, Far Away Boy does not, and never has in his adult life ever gone to this beach.


So, when we bumped into him in the bar with scratches down his chest and hickies all over his neck, I was less than amused. 


I clearly also have developed a tendency to blurt out questions when I'm in shock. Like, why have you come to this beach, you never do!!


His answer was gesticulating towards the girl he was with.


Of course. Yes. 


My mother, in her most kindest of ways trying to defuse the situation as I had lost the power of my voice and the inability to look above knee level, asked what he'd done to himself. Brilliant. He came up with a very imaginative story of diving into the sea. Ha.


I removed myself from the situation, pulled down my sunglasses and had a little cry with some 7UP and my Mummy.


I was in utter shock. He made no sense. Well he hadn't made sense. The message was now loud and clear.


So, after an emotional couple of days I woke up on Friday feeling pretty good about it. I was well shot of him. I mean, if he is immature enough to be OK with hickies, I am not down with that!! Also, mother found out the girl he's dating is 18. Emotional immaturity is all I'm saying right now!!


There we have it, then. 


The reason I have managed to get to the ahhh single stage a week after this melodrama. 


I have decided I am more than ready for some actually new men, no one from the past and someone I can have fun with without feeling the need to save them from themselves :) 


I've even joined an online dating thing...here come the boysssssss!!

Holiday Revelations

Taking a sip of my tall mug of English tea, standing in my underwear in my sister's kitchen, I sigh "Ah, single."

I've not really had chance to breathe since I came back from Gibraltar and my new episode with Far Away Boy.

I guess I should go on to explain how I came to be sighing a sigh of relief of having a very muchly patched up heart and a soul that is now back from rehab.

In May, I shared a drunken phone call with Far Away Boy, in which he proceeded to tell me that he loved me and wanted to see me when I was in Gib over the summer.  As the conversation drew to a close he promised me he would call two days later when it wasn't 3am. I made it quite clear that if he wasn't really going to call to please not tell me he was. Repeatedly he ensured me he would, he'd missed me so of course he would. 

Sunday came and went with no phone call, and only a text (that I sent) saying "I really thought you'd call this time". With this, Far Away Boy (I considered shortening his name to FAB but for obvious reasons this is not a good acronym) he took it upon himself to cut me out of his life, again. 

With two weeks to go before I jumped on that plane with Mummy dearest he decides to plaster all over Facebook that he likes someone else. How considerate. 

So, with a heavy heart and a nervous stomach, a fortnight later I am on my way. 

With plans of resolutions and street ignoring set into place on the flight, I step out into the sunshine and board the bus to our flat. 

Then, with one unfortunate look to my left, the wind has been knocked out of me and I can barely utter a word. 

Walking across the road towards the airport entrance is non other than Far Away Boy. 

All plans of any ignoring and the lists of resolutions melt away as I stutter a text to confirm if this is purely a figment of my imagination. He's supposed to be in Japan!! He's not even supposed to be back on the Rock until Monday!! Brilliant. 

As we drive off, me in almost hyper-ventilating and Mum telling me I must of been hallucinating, I am in utter shock and the only question that keeps running through my head is - what does he want from me?!

Wish upon a plane...

Do you think that if I wished hard enough on the next shooting star, or aircraft taking off seen as that is more likely, I could find a Fairy Godmother with the wit of Jennifer Saunders rolled into Alan Partridge and the wish capability of the Genie from Aladdin???

 I don't want much, just a small romantic gesture to help me get over the fact that in just over 2 weeks I am going on holiday to a place where a boy (see Three Men, a Lady, and a Highland Cattle Card and The Return of Far Away Boy)  who I am quite possibly always going to be in love with, lives.

To be more precise, a distraction, is what I need; in the form of a single datable man.

Therefore, if anyone knows of any reasonably priced magical creatures that can perform wishes or requests please don't hesitate to get in touch. 

Also, if you consider yourself one of the above, I'm waiting...

The Return of Far Away Boy

It would seem that cupid is playing with my heart again by throwing my Far Away Boy back into the mix.

And, to be honest, I couldn't be happier. Well, I could, because he could be "lives-close-by-boy" instead.

Anywho...I managed to wangle a few days off at work as there were no planes going anywhere thanks to that delightful Volcano whatsitmacalled in Iceland.

(Please do not get me started on Mr Ash Cloud. If he returns I shall personally purchase a giant size hairdryer and attempt to blow it right away!!)

So, I thought a nice trip up North to Scottie Land to see my parents would be a good plan. Ah yes, fresh air, dog walking, home cooked food and of course the good excuse that is was my Mothers birthday.

So I boarded my train and headed for the borders.

Of course I had the usual crazy drunken lady chatting away, so much so that I let my English-ness take over and I moved seats...so rude I know!

A few days of drinking wine, watching tv and being chased by the killer sheep (they follow you around expecting food and they just stand there, around 50 of them, and bleat whilst watching you like a pack of wolves not bloody sheep!!) whilst walking the dogs passed and I decided to grace MSN with my presence.

I was still hyped up on my return as this was the last "place" I spoke to my Far Away Boy. It was like returning to the scene of a crime.

After 5 or so minutes his name popped up. Set to Away.

I decided to say Hi.

No reply.

Still no reply when I went out for lunch with Mummy dearest.

Several hours later, after some wine and a beer or two I went back on.

He'd replied.

I got cut off.

Shit shit shit.

My heart was practically climbing out of my chest and my stomach was churning the chillie and wine round and round willing the internet to reconnect with all my might.

Bing.

Back on. Yes.

FarAwayBoy: "Did you get my message earlier?"

Me: "Nope"

FarAwayBoy: "OK, I'll send it again." ...

I cannot, for the life of me, go through every line.

Basically, all you need to know is that he still hearts me :)

He told me he is very sorry for not being in contact and that it is to do with his work (he's a police officer) which is why he pushed me away. A superior at work is putting immense pressure on him and he's considering quitting. I instantly wanted to protect him and be there for him. But I can't.

I'm here, and he's there. This sucks.

He also told me he couldn't cope with both things at the time, or now, so it would seem whilst he still "hearts" me he still can't be mine.

So, although he used the phrases "all those feelings are still there" and "I wish I'd never left you that week", he's still not here.

I am seeing the world through lovely pink lenses again despite having not spoken again.

I'm trying very hard, again, not to email/text but my veins are full of butterflies and all I want to do is fly out and see him.

Any ideas how to get him to come 2000 miles to be my "here-right-now-boy" would be much appreciated!!