The Return of Far Away Boy

It would seem that cupid is playing with my heart again by throwing my Far Away Boy back into the mix.

And, to be honest, I couldn't be happier. Well, I could, because he could be "lives-close-by-boy" instead.

Anywho...I managed to wangle a few days off at work as there were no planes going anywhere thanks to that delightful Volcano whatsitmacalled in Iceland.

(Please do not get me started on Mr Ash Cloud. If he returns I shall personally purchase a giant size hairdryer and attempt to blow it right away!!)

So, I thought a nice trip up North to Scottie Land to see my parents would be a good plan. Ah yes, fresh air, dog walking, home cooked food and of course the good excuse that is was my Mothers birthday.

So I boarded my train and headed for the borders.

Of course I had the usual crazy drunken lady chatting away, so much so that I let my English-ness take over and I moved seats...so rude I know!

A few days of drinking wine, watching tv and being chased by the killer sheep (they follow you around expecting food and they just stand there, around 50 of them, and bleat whilst watching you like a pack of wolves not bloody sheep!!) whilst walking the dogs passed and I decided to grace MSN with my presence.

I was still hyped up on my return as this was the last "place" I spoke to my Far Away Boy. It was like returning to the scene of a crime.

After 5 or so minutes his name popped up. Set to Away.

I decided to say Hi.

No reply.

Still no reply when I went out for lunch with Mummy dearest.

Several hours later, after some wine and a beer or two I went back on.

He'd replied.

I got cut off.

Shit shit shit.

My heart was practically climbing out of my chest and my stomach was churning the chillie and wine round and round willing the internet to reconnect with all my might.

Bing.

Back on. Yes.

FarAwayBoy: "Did you get my message earlier?"

Me: "Nope"

FarAwayBoy: "OK, I'll send it again." ...

I cannot, for the life of me, go through every line.

Basically, all you need to know is that he still hearts me :)

He told me he is very sorry for not being in contact and that it is to do with his work (he's a police officer) which is why he pushed me away. A superior at work is putting immense pressure on him and he's considering quitting. I instantly wanted to protect him and be there for him. But I can't.

I'm here, and he's there. This sucks.

He also told me he couldn't cope with both things at the time, or now, so it would seem whilst he still "hearts" me he still can't be mine.

So, although he used the phrases "all those feelings are still there" and "I wish I'd never left you that week", he's still not here.

I am seeing the world through lovely pink lenses again despite having not spoken again.

I'm trying very hard, again, not to email/text but my veins are full of butterflies and all I want to do is fly out and see him.

Any ideas how to get him to come 2000 miles to be my "here-right-now-boy" would be much appreciated!!