Three Men, a Lady and a Highland Cattle Card

It would seem that one can have too much of a good thing...men!!

I have managed over the last month to gain, and lose, and gain again, precisely 3 men.

1. Old friend turned fuck buddy.

2. Blue eyes (drunken snog plus lots of texting)

3. My best friend and ex boyfriend

Ok, so number 1. Well it would seem I have gained our very sexual relationship back again...not sure why. He's not seeing this other girl but it seems fun. However, won't be overly bothered if we lose it again.

Number 2. Very drunken snog turned into a date (supposedly tonight) but when I ran into him on Saturday night whilst out with my brothers, never a good combination, turns out I have too much baggage for one week (my big brother got kicked out of a bar and so the rest follows...) and so he cancelled our date. I didn't want a full blown relationship, I just wanted to snog him again! Ha, oh well.

Then, finally, number 3. Not much I can say, other than that I need to stop making out with him if we are to make any move towards the good old friendship zone. I just can't help it. It's so comfortable. But I know we'll end up with broken hearts again.

Oddly enough, throughout all of this gaining and losing, gaining and losing, I realised I don't really want any of them. I want my far away boy who, thanks to my 19 year old brother have noticed I am actually in love with.

I think about him everyday and have been chasing boys I don't particular want as I want a distraction.

What's my plan of action I hear you cry??

I have written him a card with a highland cattle on the front (don't want any lovey dovey stuff) which, quite simply, tells him I'm in love with him. Don't know whether I'll even get a response, but I need to get it off my chest because I'm too much of a romantic just to walk away...even if it has been 6 weeks since we spoke.

Wish me luck at my last ditch attempt to get back the boy I actually want!! I'm not holding out much hope, but there is a little tiny glimmer there...

...if all else fails I might just get a puppy!!!