Dreaming Sweet Dreams

How lovely is it when you slink into a lobster pot bath, and then dry your locks with a blast of hot air? It's one of my favourite things. Just like slipping between clean sheets, the smell of old books, and the taste of melted Camembert.

I have been having a multitude of dreams lately, mainly because I am getting more sleep thanks to my new role as Trainer at work, there are less early starts. I dream that friends are pregnant and that I am travelling the world. I love the world of dreams, anything can happen. So unreal but feels so true whilst you are tucked up. 


Speaking of friends; I went to see my school friends this weekend. There was everything you would expect from a night in with people you grew up with - wine, home cooked food, laughter, tears, stories, hopes, dreams, fears and promises. I loved every second. 


I have to admit that I was one of the ones whose heart broke post drinking the expensive red wine. 


I conversed with my Dad before I left for my evening further North. He could barely string his sentences together and his voice was cracking as he rushed to say goodbye. Please don't get the wrong idea, I am not offended by this. I just hurt for him. I had no clue that he was in such a state, well if I did I've been placing it neatly to the back of my mind. 


He is in such purgatory right now, I feel awful for him. My Mum seems to be coping very well with him out of the family home, my not-so-little (20 y.o) brother too. I want to support him but I am unsure of how to do that. We are alike, him and I, but oh so different too. We use writing and poetry as an emotional outlet, and think things over far too much. The difference between us is that my crazy dreams stay my crazy dreams, my Dad lives his. 


I used to admire him for this, I yearned for the adventures he had lived. But now, I yearn for a little normality. A friend of mine told me that she would of given anything to have a dysfunctional family like mine!! I wouldn't give them up, not for all the gold in the world, but sometimes I want just one day where I don't worry about one of them overdosing on drugs, running away, or just being lonely. 

I know we all hurt when those closest to us hurt, but right now I feel like I am taking on all their pain and I want it to stop. I want them to all have an emotional rest, to be at ease with their lives, just for one moment, for them.

All of the above seems trivial compared to what so many are going through, like my friend Sophie, and her Mum. Debbie's got Lymphoma and is going through some pretty aggressive Chemo right now, from what Sophs says, she is handling it very well. Sophs on the other hand, is angry and irrational about the reasons why her Mum is suffering so cruelly. My heart goes out to her. I think that it is often easier for those who are physically ill to accept than it is for those around them.


Mental well being is another kettle of fish altogether. 


On that note, I am logging off. This has been the deepest, darkest post - not what I intended, honest.


Night night, Sweet Dreams xx

And the results are in...

Well, well, well. 


Here's goes the explanation of how my first of three rendezvous' went with three (of a few) men currently in my life...


...to see a brief description of them see: Rebound Choices. 


Anywho...


...Julian was my contestant number 2!! To put it in his words we have "amazing chemistry". 
It's true. I have never had a session like that with anyone for years!! We literally couldn't keep our hands off one another. He picked me up and carried me around that room like I was as light as a feather!! He was exactly what the doctor ordered...someone to take control and know, with his amount of experience, what every single kiss and touch would make me feel. 


To add to all of this, he is quite simply an awesome guy: artistic (see photo above; yes I took it but he had his gorgeous camera with him too, snapping away), caring, attentive and intelligent. I could go on. He can be a very misunderstood young man, but is all of the above and much more. It's nice to know we can get on so well and have such an amazing time together too.


Due to the past we shared, it was needed to have a catch up before anything happened. Last time I saw him it wasn't my proudest moment. Basically, Julian got caught up between me and ex-boyfriend. At the time I was choosing between ex-boyfriend and being single. Julian seemed to have got the impression I was choosing between him and ex-boyfriend. Eeek. 


Not so. So, whilst I went back to ex-boyfriend, Julian made out he was an awful guy. So after clearing up exactly what went down 2 years ago, we carried on the drinking and fell into his bed. Hehe.


Well, that's enough for now. Might be seeing him this weekend for my sisters' party, but I doubt it somehow. 


Contestants number 1 and 3 both included naughtiness...need to get my naughty self back in the box for Christmas me thinks...