Rules of Dating

So, I have joined a dating website as stated in Holiday Revelations Part Dos. 

Plentyoffish.com (a Fishy favourite). 

Now, I've never done this sort of thing before but it's going OK I guess. 

I have dozens of emails, mainly consisting of "hi how r u", "u r gawjus" and "hi sexy got msn?". I suppose, at least the last one has got some punctuation in there. The worst, by far, has to be from someone called Fowler 11 which says, quite simply "hey fancy a shag? x".

Now, dear readers, I would like you to consider this: in what world is asking someone if they want a shag over email, without having a drunken conversation or behest me for saying so even meeting, alright?!!

I just need to clarify that I am no snob, but I would quite like a man who knows how to use the English language and whose first line does not have a shag in it!!

I have had a few interesting emails though. The best one has to be from a guy who we shall call Eclipse (it makes sense to me) who albeit a little older than I ever anticipated (37), he's pretty creative and certainly knows how to keep me entertained over the email. I don't know whether we will ever meet up because I think that the age difference could be an issue. He does look pretty good for 37 though!!

I have even been on a date! A coffee date but still with promises of going to Salsa on Wednesday. This guy (who shall be know as ScienceBoy) is cute but is in definite need of a hair cut. There shall be no talk of kissing until there has been some scissors near those locks. I am a snob aren't I?! Plus he's a little too keen, and a bit confused. We'll see, it's just dancing right?

But the point of this post is to understand whether there is a need for dating rules and because of my serious lack of actual dates in my short 23 years due to friends becoming boyfriends, I don't know the first real thing about dating etiquette. 

I don't really do rules very well when it comes to men or social situations, I am who I am. 

But still, maybe I need some direction from my fellow bloggers as to what I should do, or not as the case may be. Or whether I should just jump on the giant rule book and throw the bastard out the window.

Help, anyone?

Holiday Revelations: Part Dos

My amazingly good mind powers were working a treat as we sped over the run way and into the city. Jumping off the bus, still freaking out, we hot footed it up the 72 steps and into our building. Just as I pull out my phone to look at my newest text he bursts through the door. Cock. Bastard. Shit. 

Ok, number 1. I do not want to EVER see an ex, recent or not, being sweaty and travel worn. 

Number 2. Seriously what the buggery is he playing at?!

Luckily, at this precise moment my mother chooses to unlock the door to the flat. What was waiting inside can only be described as a small lake and a lot of ceiling on the floor. Apparently someone up there was looking down and saw we needed a massive distraction. Thank you (I did go to two cathedrals following this, to thank him in person). 


So, what followed was a mass clean up and a trip to the rates office. Far Away Boy decided it was an awesome idea to come with me. I was highly unamused at this prospect as I'm sure you'll appreciate. I still couldn't even look at him, let alone talk in his direction.


Off we trotted, hot and bothered and still with my skinnies and flight socks on (I have never felt more unattractive). 


I came right out with it...why had he come? 


Wait for it...to be friendly. Couldn't he be friendly????


Short answer: NO!!


I warmed up a bit for the sake of my own sanity but didn't really give much off in the way of this-is-totally-ok-for-you-to-turn-up-to-the-airport-like-this. However, this apparently meant he could flirt with me. 


Now, I may well have warmed up but I did not give him the ok to flirt and be all touchy feely. Definitely NOT ok. I made excuses that I was sweaty. And with each tickley poke I got more and more confused.


When he finally left I was still in sheer shock. However, I felt relieved that it was over. I didn't have anything else left to dread. 


That was, of course until he came to my beach. 


Before you ask, no this beach does not have my name on it (the sea has a tendency to wash it away no matter how many times I write it) and no I cannot purchase it. Shame, really.


But, Far Away Boy does not, and never has in his adult life ever gone to this beach.


So, when we bumped into him in the bar with scratches down his chest and hickies all over his neck, I was less than amused. 


I clearly also have developed a tendency to blurt out questions when I'm in shock. Like, why have you come to this beach, you never do!!


His answer was gesticulating towards the girl he was with.


Of course. Yes. 


My mother, in her most kindest of ways trying to defuse the situation as I had lost the power of my voice and the inability to look above knee level, asked what he'd done to himself. Brilliant. He came up with a very imaginative story of diving into the sea. Ha.


I removed myself from the situation, pulled down my sunglasses and had a little cry with some 7UP and my Mummy.


I was in utter shock. He made no sense. Well he hadn't made sense. The message was now loud and clear.


So, after an emotional couple of days I woke up on Friday feeling pretty good about it. I was well shot of him. I mean, if he is immature enough to be OK with hickies, I am not down with that!! Also, mother found out the girl he's dating is 18. Emotional immaturity is all I'm saying right now!!


There we have it, then. 


The reason I have managed to get to the ahhh single stage a week after this melodrama. 


I have decided I am more than ready for some actually new men, no one from the past and someone I can have fun with without feeling the need to save them from themselves :) 


I've even joined an online dating thing...here come the boysssssss!!

Holiday Revelations

Taking a sip of my tall mug of English tea, standing in my underwear in my sister's kitchen, I sigh "Ah, single."

I've not really had chance to breathe since I came back from Gibraltar and my new episode with Far Away Boy.

I guess I should go on to explain how I came to be sighing a sigh of relief of having a very muchly patched up heart and a soul that is now back from rehab.

In May, I shared a drunken phone call with Far Away Boy, in which he proceeded to tell me that he loved me and wanted to see me when I was in Gib over the summer.  As the conversation drew to a close he promised me he would call two days later when it wasn't 3am. I made it quite clear that if he wasn't really going to call to please not tell me he was. Repeatedly he ensured me he would, he'd missed me so of course he would. 

Sunday came and went with no phone call, and only a text (that I sent) saying "I really thought you'd call this time". With this, Far Away Boy (I considered shortening his name to FAB but for obvious reasons this is not a good acronym) he took it upon himself to cut me out of his life, again. 

With two weeks to go before I jumped on that plane with Mummy dearest he decides to plaster all over Facebook that he likes someone else. How considerate. 

So, with a heavy heart and a nervous stomach, a fortnight later I am on my way. 

With plans of resolutions and street ignoring set into place on the flight, I step out into the sunshine and board the bus to our flat. 

Then, with one unfortunate look to my left, the wind has been knocked out of me and I can barely utter a word. 

Walking across the road towards the airport entrance is non other than Far Away Boy. 

All plans of any ignoring and the lists of resolutions melt away as I stutter a text to confirm if this is purely a figment of my imagination. He's supposed to be in Japan!! He's not even supposed to be back on the Rock until Monday!! Brilliant. 

As we drive off, me in almost hyper-ventilating and Mum telling me I must of been hallucinating, I am in utter shock and the only question that keeps running through my head is - what does he want from me?!

Wish upon a plane...

Do you think that if I wished hard enough on the next shooting star, or aircraft taking off seen as that is more likely, I could find a Fairy Godmother with the wit of Jennifer Saunders rolled into Alan Partridge and the wish capability of the Genie from Aladdin???

 I don't want much, just a small romantic gesture to help me get over the fact that in just over 2 weeks I am going on holiday to a place where a boy (see Three Men, a Lady, and a Highland Cattle Card and The Return of Far Away Boy)  who I am quite possibly always going to be in love with, lives.

To be more precise, a distraction, is what I need; in the form of a single datable man.

Therefore, if anyone knows of any reasonably priced magical creatures that can perform wishes or requests please don't hesitate to get in touch. 

Also, if you consider yourself one of the above, I'm waiting...

A Little Too Close to Home

As a 22 year old, I have begun to understand my heart can be a little fickle at times. I flit from flirtation to fling in the time it takes for me to write a text message (I have the fastest fingers West of the States) and often exchange plenty of eyelash batting and humorous banter with a couple guys at the same time. 

Therefore,  I should not be surprised nor annoyed when a green eyed and dark haired young man does the same.  

Daniel is a tall,  handsome, sarcastic, funny and flirty guy. He is what I would describe as my type.  He can be a bit moody but with one smile from me he tends to change his tune. I quite like having that effect on a man; I'm sure most women do. 

However, there is a teensy weensy problem...he's a bit of a womanizer. Majorly. He casually informed me he had slept with someone he works with right after he'd engaged me in some fresh flirting. This confused me as I couldn't understand why he was telling me.  

Later on, he then said he regretted it. Even more confusing. 

My friend suggested that perhaps he was letting  me know he was available...odd way of showing me don't you think??

Anywho, to the climax of my story. I forgot about this whole admission of sleeping with a colleague and we carried on the shameless-in-front-of-colleagues-flirting. 

That was until I was walking to catch my bus a week later and saw them having coffee together...so much for regrets. It threw me completely as this was the moment I realised I quite fancied him. Damn it. 

I was annoyed at myself for falling for his spiel about regretting it. 


I don't usually let myself fall into the trap of men who like many a woman at once. I was going to put that I suppose you meet a different kind of man at an airport, but in this case I suppose he is too much like me for me to stick around. It was kind of like looking in a mirror...


So, for now. I am going to put my crush on Daniel the womanizer flirter to bed and keep my eye out for a dishy pilot...or two!!

Bus Boy

Ah so, Friday night arrives with 4 shifts worth of nights looming and I decide it is a good time to go out into the Northen Quarter and drink Rum.

The Rum (mostly Sailor Jerry's) was good, the company (housemate's twin Riley) was good  and the Northern Quarter (TV 21's, Keko Moku and Trof - we didn't get far) were also pretty awesome.

Even the random Torie boy who I made out with in toilets was pretty hot. I love a bit of drunken making out. But this is where I hit a brick wall. 

He had a girlfriend.  That would normally be fine, had a I not just made out with him.

So at this point I decided it was time to head home seen as Riley had long since gone and I didn't really want anything more than a making out on my conscience.

And so, after I declined my Torie boy's offer of a taxi, I made my way to Picadilly to catch the 192 back home.

I jumped on with the regular crowds of crazies that the 192 bus journey attracts, not just at 2am but any time of day.

I got comfortable towards the back of the bus next to a window and waited for the bus driver to make his way down the A6. 

Now, usually on the 192 you hope that no one ever sits down next to you. On this occassion a rather dashing you man got on and looked around, deciding I must have been the better of all evils. I was pleasantly pleased with myself seen as normally no one hot ever sits next to me on any kind of public transport.

As the bus pulled out of Picadilly Gardens, for whatever reason (the copious amounts of Sailor Jerry's may have had something to do with it. Well a lot to do with it) I struck up a conversation with this lovely guy. Now it is all a bit of a haze due to my Coke and Rum habit, but we laughed and talked all the way to Stockport. Polo's were shared and Crunchie Clusters were offered. Sideways glances with eyes meeting also occurred, and not in a "you're crazy" kind of a way.

For once, I couldn't believe I was flirting and having a normal conversation with what resembled a vaguely sane person on the 192. 

I was getting to my stop when I missed it because I asked if his girlfriend would mind if we swapped numbers. He said his girlfriend probably would mind.

Now, in hindsight, this is the moment where I should have asked if he would mind.

But, I didn't. Now Kate over at Perfect Ten asked if anyone had one of those totally unbelievably regrettable moments where you wanted to turn back time and re-do just a few minutes relating to matters of the heart. Well, this is mine. 

Bus boy was gorgeous, beer goggles or not. He was funny and intellecual and had a great job (he is a lawyer).

The next morning I questioned why I had got off that bus. Pretty much the only reason was that I had to pee and Hazel Grove was much to far to walk back to my house at almost 3am. 

The thing is, girlfriend or not, I will probably never see him again, well without going all crazy and putting up posters about him anyway!!!  

Oh well, the only thing I can do is hope that maybe I will bump into him on a 192 bus journey again...

Day Date

So, I went on a first date today for ice cream. Sounds romantic right? Wrong. 

It was weird and awkward. 

It was with a guy from work who is so funny and flirty and full of banter on a usual day, but just did not live up to expectations. 

He also turned out to be a little too nice. And not as much fun outside of work.

Just the phrase "Day Date" doesn't bode well if it is the first date. 

 And here are the following reasons:

1. There is no romantic or dim lighting to ensure you both look beautiful

2. No alcohol involved to loosen minds or limbs

3. Conversation can lull and one, or both, parties feel the need to talk. This annoys me.

4. There's not really any excuse to leave early, ie. No last train or bus to catch

5. You gradually change your mind about your date and find yourself dropping big hints as to the level of your future relationship

6. You have to find numerous things to do as one is quite simply not enough, apparently chatting in the sunshine is not enough

7. Your date may think it is OK to wear shorts. It.is.never.OK.to.wear.shorts.on.a.first.date.EVER.

8. You may find that your date isn't as open to different experiences, ie. a Chinese bakery, as they have made out to be

9. Your date may end with you fancying this person less than when you first met them. Oh dear.

10. You find the you pick out all the bad things straight away, Oh dear indeed. 

And that is all for now...any more input on why we don't do Day Dates would be well received.

Reminder to self. be wary of first dates that happen during the day. Not a great start.