Rebound Choices...

So, my last blog was a bit wallow-ey wasn't it?! Sorry about that!!


But I'm near enough back to my fantastic witty self (except for still smoking the Richmond Menthol!!) 


So in an attempt to jump back on the single girl band wagon I have got a couple options for my rebound...


Contestant Number 1: I scored myself a hot date for next Friday with a guy who's a PCSO in London. He's a funny flirty guy but we had a little fling back when I was 18. To put it bluntly he didn't know the difference between my clit and my tit. So we shall see if his charm alone will suffice for the time being...but I don't think I'll be jumping between the sheets with him.


Contestant Number 2: However, I am off back to my uni town of Ormskirk to stay with a friend who is very good between the sheets...but we're just going to go for a drink and watch some films...also saying this I don't think we ever made it through a full film together back in my uni days...


And finally, Contestant Number 3: A random guy I met in a pub last Friday who I had no idea I was flirting with until he asked for my number (ah the joys of being so fabulous). Thanks to the wonderful invention of texting I found out he's a bit of a perv though and whilst I slept last night I had 4 texts off him and a missed call. Hm. Stalker like behaviour. But on the plus side he was really cute and quite intelligent. 




So...three very different men. Two from the past (in my books I need that comfortable stage already for a rebound) and one brand spanking new one. 


Well we'll see how Contestant Number 2 bares up tonight!! 

Through the Looking Glass

I'm organising my sisters' birthday party on the 18th of December. I'm doing a Mad Hatter's Tea Party with her starring as the Mad Hatter.

I'm going as Alice and right now I feel like I have fallen through the looking glass. 

How things have turned on their head since I last blogged. 


Short story: Mr Sheffield and I have broken up. He couldn't cope not seeing me; by his facebook statues "painting the town red" making me feel like UTTER shit.


It hurts a lot right now. And is compounded entirely by the fact that I have sore boobs and have a bad case of PMT. 


I was being all strong by getting on with it and being "well at least I can go travelling now, without feeling guilty". But today, I want to curl up in a ball and sob my little heart out. 


I will, at some point probably go into great detail of how all of this occurred, but right now I just want to wallow and be pissed off. 


All his music is on my phone and computer; all the memories (whilst awesome) still very fresh; and I still have his hoody and some of his socks. 


My girl friends keep telling me he's handled it like a shit, my boy mates telling me it was the 3 month turning point. Whatever.


For me, having a boyfriend doesn't usually last this short amount of time. So it came like a rug being pulled from under me. I'm not used to committing unless I think it is something that I think will last, so this is all new to me. 


No idea how to handle this. 


How I have done so far: smoked almost 30 Richmond Menthol in less than a week (I don't actually smoke, so I don't know where this has come from), go to Lancaster to stay with friends, and go on a long walk and have to avoid a kiss (only because it's still so fresh) with my friend and old fuck buddy. 


Any other ideas on how I can make this little heart of mine feel any better would be muchly appreciated.


OK, rant over. 


Got to stop the smoking, it's the dirtiest habit of all time (well maybe not quite, but close) and need to focus on spending time with my friends as much as possible. 


Positive positive positive.


This will stop hurting soon, I know because I've been through much more. 

"Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?!"

You enjoy my singing?! You're going to have the song in your head all day!!


So, 3 months in and my romance with Mr Sheffield is going awesomely. He has continued to make me laugh every day (and scream louder than ever!!) and make me fall head over heels for him :)


But I guess now I am with him, it has made me ask myself why I stayed with someone for so long that made me so unhappy. And also why we go for the wrong people, time and time again. 


Take, Rugby Boy. Him and I were "seeing" each other when the ex-boyfriend decided to tell me one Valentine's that I wasn't actually his girlfriend. Rugby Boy and I hooked up a week later on a joint social. I knew his rep wasn't the best, turned out to be worse than expected too as he'd slept with a crazy amount of both girls and guys. Despite this, I went back several times. Worse still, I ended up back with the ex-boyfriend. But who was the better of the two? I mean, yes, Rugby Boy did have an awful rep but we had fun. With ex-b, it was nearly always heart break central. On reflection then, I went back to the bad. 


Then there's my friend Lexie. She has a major thing for pilots. Now, don't get me wrong, some pilots are lovely and down to earth, but for the majority they know everyone's checking them out and they bask in every eyelash fluttering. This spells bad news right away!!


When I met Lexie she was totally in love (and in denial about it) with Mr Pilot. He, however, had other ideas. With some serious support she managed to walk away after 18 long months. But now, after 6 months of being good, she's back to square one. And yet again, he has a girlfriend. Oh did I not mention that? Yeah he always has a girlfriend, therefore Lexie is always the other woman. Not my cup of tea but some women don't mind playing second fiddle. That's besides the point. She still keeps going back - but why?


I mean, Far Away Boy - I knew how screwed up he was but I just kept going there. 


And take my friend Jack: he keeps sleeping with his ex because she sends him dirty picture messages whilst he's on his way to pick up his 2 year old!! This is despite her seeing someone else, and telling him in great colour and animation every detail of their relationship!!


I mean, men and women, we always go back to the ones we know are bad. 


Is this because it's comfortable, even though we know it will mean hurt and heart break? Is one night of passion worth all the shit that comes afterwards? 
Is there a rush because you know it's bad? Does it make the sex better? Or are we all just a bit bad deep down? 


The only thing I know is, it doesn't matter how hard you try, you will just keep going back until you find someone to move on with. I guess even then, you end up reminiscing. 

Excuses excuses: Mr Sheffield

So, I'm back!! 


I am quite aware that I have been away for a little over 2 months...and for that, I am truly sorry. Although I do have a couple of pretty good reason for that, at least I think so. 


So, number one, I have gone and sold out and got me a pretty hot boy to tag along with for the time being :)


He's 23, blue/grey eyed, tall, handsome, ridiculously sarcastic, makes me smile on a daily basis and seems to think that I'm pretty gorgeous, even on the post-drinking mornings. 


We have been seeing each other, yes you guessed it, about 2months. So, yet again, yes, that is the reason I've not been blogging. Bad excuse really, especially when I usually just blog about my love life!! 


My excuse for not telling you sooner is that I have been ridiculously busy at work with it being peak season in full swing. 


But as the season is easing off with a mere TWO flights on a Wednesday I remembered about my little blog that I had left to wilt in the summer sun and then get pissed on in the September rain.


Therefore, I am going to nurture you back to health little blog, and I promise not to let the frost get you over the big freeze of Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas. 


So, my guy.


Yes, for those of you out there that pay any attention to me, I did meet him on a dating website, But no, he is not deranged, crazy, obsessive, a sex addict, alcoholic, psychotic killer...well he hasn't shown any tendencies towards any of these attributes just yet anyway! Ha!


When I joined my chosen dating hub, I genuinely just wanted to explore the possibilities of dates, I was not expecting to find anyone quite like Mr Sheffield; and I definitely did not expect to fall for him!!


I should've realised after date one when he had leant over to kiss me only an hour in, we'd eaten risotto and mussles and then stayed up all night drinking tea and talking that this was going to be something to write home about. But the truth is, it just kept on getting better. 


He took me to Scarborough for the day where we ate fish and chips and played on the 2p machines for hours (you should've seen the booty we came home with!!). But the basis of our relationship focuses around cooking together and then eating and having sex, and I love it. It's passionate and lovely. 


We have both had our moments of "this is going way too fast" but have both actually embraced it and are now just enjoying being with someone chilled out and fun. 


So, to conclude, I am riding the wave that is me and Mr Sheffield for however long it lasts, and savouring every moment.

Rules of Dating

So, I have joined a dating website as stated in Holiday Revelations Part Dos. 

Plentyoffish.com (a Fishy favourite). 

Now, I've never done this sort of thing before but it's going OK I guess. 

I have dozens of emails, mainly consisting of "hi how r u", "u r gawjus" and "hi sexy got msn?". I suppose, at least the last one has got some punctuation in there. The worst, by far, has to be from someone called Fowler 11 which says, quite simply "hey fancy a shag? x".

Now, dear readers, I would like you to consider this: in what world is asking someone if they want a shag over email, without having a drunken conversation or behest me for saying so even meeting, alright?!!

I just need to clarify that I am no snob, but I would quite like a man who knows how to use the English language and whose first line does not have a shag in it!!

I have had a few interesting emails though. The best one has to be from a guy who we shall call Eclipse (it makes sense to me) who albeit a little older than I ever anticipated (37), he's pretty creative and certainly knows how to keep me entertained over the email. I don't know whether we will ever meet up because I think that the age difference could be an issue. He does look pretty good for 37 though!!

I have even been on a date! A coffee date but still with promises of going to Salsa on Wednesday. This guy (who shall be know as ScienceBoy) is cute but is in definite need of a hair cut. There shall be no talk of kissing until there has been some scissors near those locks. I am a snob aren't I?! Plus he's a little too keen, and a bit confused. We'll see, it's just dancing right?

But the point of this post is to understand whether there is a need for dating rules and because of my serious lack of actual dates in my short 23 years due to friends becoming boyfriends, I don't know the first real thing about dating etiquette. 

I don't really do rules very well when it comes to men or social situations, I am who I am. 

But still, maybe I need some direction from my fellow bloggers as to what I should do, or not as the case may be. Or whether I should just jump on the giant rule book and throw the bastard out the window.

Help, anyone?

Holiday Revelations: Part Dos

My amazingly good mind powers were working a treat as we sped over the run way and into the city. Jumping off the bus, still freaking out, we hot footed it up the 72 steps and into our building. Just as I pull out my phone to look at my newest text he bursts through the door. Cock. Bastard. Shit. 

Ok, number 1. I do not want to EVER see an ex, recent or not, being sweaty and travel worn. 

Number 2. Seriously what the buggery is he playing at?!

Luckily, at this precise moment my mother chooses to unlock the door to the flat. What was waiting inside can only be described as a small lake and a lot of ceiling on the floor. Apparently someone up there was looking down and saw we needed a massive distraction. Thank you (I did go to two cathedrals following this, to thank him in person). 


So, what followed was a mass clean up and a trip to the rates office. Far Away Boy decided it was an awesome idea to come with me. I was highly unamused at this prospect as I'm sure you'll appreciate. I still couldn't even look at him, let alone talk in his direction.


Off we trotted, hot and bothered and still with my skinnies and flight socks on (I have never felt more unattractive). 


I came right out with it...why had he come? 


Wait for it...to be friendly. Couldn't he be friendly????


Short answer: NO!!


I warmed up a bit for the sake of my own sanity but didn't really give much off in the way of this-is-totally-ok-for-you-to-turn-up-to-the-airport-like-this. However, this apparently meant he could flirt with me. 


Now, I may well have warmed up but I did not give him the ok to flirt and be all touchy feely. Definitely NOT ok. I made excuses that I was sweaty. And with each tickley poke I got more and more confused.


When he finally left I was still in sheer shock. However, I felt relieved that it was over. I didn't have anything else left to dread. 


That was, of course until he came to my beach. 


Before you ask, no this beach does not have my name on it (the sea has a tendency to wash it away no matter how many times I write it) and no I cannot purchase it. Shame, really.


But, Far Away Boy does not, and never has in his adult life ever gone to this beach.


So, when we bumped into him in the bar with scratches down his chest and hickies all over his neck, I was less than amused. 


I clearly also have developed a tendency to blurt out questions when I'm in shock. Like, why have you come to this beach, you never do!!


His answer was gesticulating towards the girl he was with.


Of course. Yes. 


My mother, in her most kindest of ways trying to defuse the situation as I had lost the power of my voice and the inability to look above knee level, asked what he'd done to himself. Brilliant. He came up with a very imaginative story of diving into the sea. Ha.


I removed myself from the situation, pulled down my sunglasses and had a little cry with some 7UP and my Mummy.


I was in utter shock. He made no sense. Well he hadn't made sense. The message was now loud and clear.


So, after an emotional couple of days I woke up on Friday feeling pretty good about it. I was well shot of him. I mean, if he is immature enough to be OK with hickies, I am not down with that!! Also, mother found out the girl he's dating is 18. Emotional immaturity is all I'm saying right now!!


There we have it, then. 


The reason I have managed to get to the ahhh single stage a week after this melodrama. 


I have decided I am more than ready for some actually new men, no one from the past and someone I can have fun with without feeling the need to save them from themselves :) 


I've even joined an online dating thing...here come the boysssssss!!

Holiday Revelations

Taking a sip of my tall mug of English tea, standing in my underwear in my sister's kitchen, I sigh "Ah, single."

I've not really had chance to breathe since I came back from Gibraltar and my new episode with Far Away Boy.

I guess I should go on to explain how I came to be sighing a sigh of relief of having a very muchly patched up heart and a soul that is now back from rehab.

In May, I shared a drunken phone call with Far Away Boy, in which he proceeded to tell me that he loved me and wanted to see me when I was in Gib over the summer.  As the conversation drew to a close he promised me he would call two days later when it wasn't 3am. I made it quite clear that if he wasn't really going to call to please not tell me he was. Repeatedly he ensured me he would, he'd missed me so of course he would. 

Sunday came and went with no phone call, and only a text (that I sent) saying "I really thought you'd call this time". With this, Far Away Boy (I considered shortening his name to FAB but for obvious reasons this is not a good acronym) he took it upon himself to cut me out of his life, again. 

With two weeks to go before I jumped on that plane with Mummy dearest he decides to plaster all over Facebook that he likes someone else. How considerate. 

So, with a heavy heart and a nervous stomach, a fortnight later I am on my way. 

With plans of resolutions and street ignoring set into place on the flight, I step out into the sunshine and board the bus to our flat. 

Then, with one unfortunate look to my left, the wind has been knocked out of me and I can barely utter a word. 

Walking across the road towards the airport entrance is non other than Far Away Boy. 

All plans of any ignoring and the lists of resolutions melt away as I stutter a text to confirm if this is purely a figment of my imagination. He's supposed to be in Japan!! He's not even supposed to be back on the Rock until Monday!! Brilliant. 

As we drive off, me in almost hyper-ventilating and Mum telling me I must of been hallucinating, I am in utter shock and the only question that keeps running through my head is - what does he want from me?!