This year was the first year I can remember actually physically yearning for a Valentine. Despite having a handful of men on the periphery of my life, not one means a whole lot to me. The Banker seems to have decided to take a back seat, in fact they all have. A lot of this is to do with me having no time, and it kind of bothers me.
I am so ready to just have a boyfriend that I am comfortable with and I know makes me happy. I guess that's what makes me miss Mr Sheffield.
I went for a lovely long muddy walk with my sister, and her boyfriends dog, to Lyme Park today. And it hit me that I don't care about these guys, I would like to, but I just have too much on. All I want is a cuddle when I want it. And men can't do that, at least not the ones I meet.
I guess I am ready for love, despite the heartbreak over Mr Sheffield. I was almost there with him, almost completely in love. Somehow, without even realising, I managed to stay at the lust stage. Despite thinking otherwise.
So, anyway, to the point of this blog.
Despite me wanting a Valentine so badly, I worked for 11 hours of it and slept for 8. Which means I didn't get chance to be preoccupied with worrying that I wasn't beating the door down because there weren't piles of cards behind it.
The day just came, and went.
Simple as that.
Ironic, really.
I feel exhausted though. I haven't spoken to my Mum in almost a week, and that never happens. And to add insult to injury, my old work appear to not want to accept liability for my accident and it could appear I may need a new suit to go to court in!! Also, I am waiting on hearing whether or not I've got the Supervisor position at work...
Scary grown up times ahead!!
So, other than a serious lack of Valentines or even noticing it was Valentines when it came round, I think I can wait another year before I mope around once more!!
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