Brain Cramp

Firstly, I cannot quite believe how fast January has gone. A whole month has flown by with my new job role and new men. My head is fit to burst and yet I don't know why. 

I have finally managed to get my head straight with Mr Pilot and let him know I am not ready to take on all of his problems as well as my own. But there's a part of me that feels so guilty. 

And then there's my parents. My Dad is now living next door to my Mum, which is good because they need to sort the relationship out. I was supposed to be going home on Tuesday for a couple of nights but I really can't do it. I can't stay with my Mum and pop next door to my Dad's. It would just be too weird. I sound so selfish but I just can't. I don't know how to put it into words. I need to go for a long walk somewhere, clear my head. 

I have no problems at work, I am working hard and putting my mind to use at last. I am so grateful even to have a permanent job. 

I have two guys I am just starting to date - Fleming (the cute Indie boy I met on a night out) and the Banker (who took me out and treated me the whole of the date). I don't feel attached to either one at the moment, and it's nice to have choice.

I have also just recently booked up to go to Greece, to hop around a few islands for 2 weeks in May, with two of my girlfriends.  


I even have a very busy social calender for the next month. Rare, in my line of work.

So, please explain to me why I feel so heavy hearted and why my brain feels as though it will explain. 

I have attention from men, a stable job, and a little escapade to look forward to. Yet, I feel so down trodden and exhausted. I have a nervous feeling in my stomach that something is going to go wrong or just explode. 

Humph. Not a happy blogger, with no reasons as to why. 

Perhaps my parents latest actions are affecting me more than I would like them to. Je ne sais pas. 

Maybe a good nights sleep before my shift tomorrow will help. I hope so.