Soul Mates

A little creative output for you to peruse...

Soul Mates

Moths in the moonlight,

dancing a silent waltz

They flutter and float underneath the deep dark blue sky.

Embracing one another,

They move to the purring of the owls and the rustling breeze through the bull rushes.

A big fat wondrous full moon shines her blessings upon them.

Each star setting the mood, 

The pair glide together in absolute harmony.

Sleeping through Valentines

Happy belated Valentines!!

This year was the first year I can remember actually physically yearning for a Valentine. Despite having a handful of men on the periphery of my life, not one means a whole lot to me. The Banker seems to have decided to take a back seat, in fact they all have. A lot of this is to do with me having no time, and it kind of bothers me.

I am so ready to just have a boyfriend that I am comfortable with and I know makes me happy. I guess that's what makes me miss Mr Sheffield. 

I went for a lovely long muddy walk with my sister, and her boyfriends dog, to Lyme Park today. And it hit me that I don't care about these guys, I would like to, but I just have too much on. All I want is a cuddle when I want it. And men can't do that, at least not the ones I meet.

I guess I am ready for love, despite the heartbreak over Mr Sheffield. I was almost there with him, almost completely in love. Somehow, without even realising, I managed to stay at the lust stage. Despite thinking otherwise. 

So, anyway, to the point of this blog. 

Despite me wanting a Valentine so badly, I worked for 11 hours of it and slept for 8. Which means I didn't get chance to be preoccupied with worrying that I wasn't beating the door down because there weren't piles of cards behind it. 

The day just came, and went. 

Simple as that.

Ironic, really. 

I feel exhausted though. I haven't spoken to my Mum in almost a week, and that never happens. And to add insult to injury, my old work appear to not want to accept liability for my accident and it could appear I may need a new suit to go to court in!! Also, I am waiting on hearing whether or not I've got the Supervisor position at work...


Scary grown up times ahead!!

So, other than a serious lack of Valentines or even noticing it was Valentines when it came round, I think I can wait another year before I mope around once more!! 

Brain Cramp

Firstly, I cannot quite believe how fast January has gone. A whole month has flown by with my new job role and new men. My head is fit to burst and yet I don't know why. 

I have finally managed to get my head straight with Mr Pilot and let him know I am not ready to take on all of his problems as well as my own. But there's a part of me that feels so guilty. 

And then there's my parents. My Dad is now living next door to my Mum, which is good because they need to sort the relationship out. I was supposed to be going home on Tuesday for a couple of nights but I really can't do it. I can't stay with my Mum and pop next door to my Dad's. It would just be too weird. I sound so selfish but I just can't. I don't know how to put it into words. I need to go for a long walk somewhere, clear my head. 

I have no problems at work, I am working hard and putting my mind to use at last. I am so grateful even to have a permanent job. 

I have two guys I am just starting to date - Fleming (the cute Indie boy I met on a night out) and the Banker (who took me out and treated me the whole of the date). I don't feel attached to either one at the moment, and it's nice to have choice.

I have also just recently booked up to go to Greece, to hop around a few islands for 2 weeks in May, with two of my girlfriends.  


I even have a very busy social calender for the next month. Rare, in my line of work.

So, please explain to me why I feel so heavy hearted and why my brain feels as though it will explain. 

I have attention from men, a stable job, and a little escapade to look forward to. Yet, I feel so down trodden and exhausted. I have a nervous feeling in my stomach that something is going to go wrong or just explode. 

Humph. Not a happy blogger, with no reasons as to why. 

Perhaps my parents latest actions are affecting me more than I would like them to. Je ne sais pas. 

Maybe a good nights sleep before my shift tomorrow will help. I hope so.