The Return of Far Away Boy

It would seem that cupid is playing with my heart again by throwing my Far Away Boy back into the mix.

And, to be honest, I couldn't be happier. Well, I could, because he could be "lives-close-by-boy" instead.

Anywho...I managed to wangle a few days off at work as there were no planes going anywhere thanks to that delightful Volcano whatsitmacalled in Iceland.

(Please do not get me started on Mr Ash Cloud. If he returns I shall personally purchase a giant size hairdryer and attempt to blow it right away!!)

So, I thought a nice trip up North to Scottie Land to see my parents would be a good plan. Ah yes, fresh air, dog walking, home cooked food and of course the good excuse that is was my Mothers birthday.

So I boarded my train and headed for the borders.

Of course I had the usual crazy drunken lady chatting away, so much so that I let my English-ness take over and I moved seats...so rude I know!

A few days of drinking wine, watching tv and being chased by the killer sheep (they follow you around expecting food and they just stand there, around 50 of them, and bleat whilst watching you like a pack of wolves not bloody sheep!!) whilst walking the dogs passed and I decided to grace MSN with my presence.

I was still hyped up on my return as this was the last "place" I spoke to my Far Away Boy. It was like returning to the scene of a crime.

After 5 or so minutes his name popped up. Set to Away.

I decided to say Hi.

No reply.

Still no reply when I went out for lunch with Mummy dearest.

Several hours later, after some wine and a beer or two I went back on.

He'd replied.

I got cut off.

Shit shit shit.

My heart was practically climbing out of my chest and my stomach was churning the chillie and wine round and round willing the internet to reconnect with all my might.

Bing.

Back on. Yes.

FarAwayBoy: "Did you get my message earlier?"

Me: "Nope"

FarAwayBoy: "OK, I'll send it again." ...

I cannot, for the life of me, go through every line.

Basically, all you need to know is that he still hearts me :)

He told me he is very sorry for not being in contact and that it is to do with his work (he's a police officer) which is why he pushed me away. A superior at work is putting immense pressure on him and he's considering quitting. I instantly wanted to protect him and be there for him. But I can't.

I'm here, and he's there. This sucks.

He also told me he couldn't cope with both things at the time, or now, so it would seem whilst he still "hearts" me he still can't be mine.

So, although he used the phrases "all those feelings are still there" and "I wish I'd never left you that week", he's still not here.

I am seeing the world through lovely pink lenses again despite having not spoken again.

I'm trying very hard, again, not to email/text but my veins are full of butterflies and all I want to do is fly out and see him.

Any ideas how to get him to come 2000 miles to be my "here-right-now-boy" would be much appreciated!!

Confessions

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

I slept with my ex-boyfriend today because I have no will power.

Ok, so it's not quite worthy of hail-mary's (well not in my book) but still. My determination to make our post-relationship friendship stay friendship hasn't quite stayed on the straight and narrow.

After not seeing him for a good couple of weeks we decided to meet up or lunch and a bit of Orange Wednesday in Didsbury. It was all going well with lunch in Art of Tea (anyone in the Manchester area has to go here - it can only be described as books and tea heaven!!) with our friend Jake.

That was until he decided to remind me en-route to the cinema that it was 3 years to the day since we first started sleeping together. This may sound much more creepy than it actually is!! It was after our friend's 21st birthday party that we finally got it together; which was the 14th.

So all my memories of the good times we shared being mischievous and hiding our relationship from all our friends came flooding back like the flood Noah built his Ark for.

I had actually prepared not to be naughty. I had my terribly day-to-day undies on, unshaven stubbly legs, and only applying the minimal amount of mascara and lip gloss.

Can't believe I actually thought this would be a deterrent!! It wasn't like he was a new man in my life - this was how he liked me best. Damn it.

Pushing these thoughts to the back of my mind, we made our way into see Alice in 3D with Jake. Which is sheer escapism genius by the by.

With Jake making his way back home, we decided to go for a carvery to extend our day and catch up just us. Only it didn't stop here, did it. He reached over in the pub and kissed my neck and said "It's just for old times sake!"

Damn damn damn.

I have no will power.

He looks hot in that shirt.

Damn damn damn.

End up driving back to mine for a "brew".

Damn damn damn.

I'm not driving so it's technically not me in control...right?!

The brew leads to my room, and before I know it the Glee soundtrack has run out and we have no clothes on.

Damn damn damn.

We've said that that's it; full-circle and that's it for sexy-times.






Well, maybe until the next "anniversary" crops up!!