Emotional Myriad

Rich golden envy,
Beautiful saffron burning eyes.
Silky azure touches,
Scorching ashen faces.

Doorstep Surprises

In recent day dreaming fantasies I have imagined myself coming home on a cold rainy Manchester evening to find my far away boy on my doorstep with a big smile and declarations of love.

Alas, every day since I sent my Highland Cattle card he has not been there.

Oh well, I sigh.

Every time questioning how long it takes for a card to get to this far away place (2000 miles if you were wondering). I think about our shitty postal service and just hope he hasn't got it yet and that is the reason I haven't heard even a peep of recognition.

Unlikely, I know, but a girl can dream (or be deluded).

So, today, note my surprise when I came home to a long-since promised parcel from my friend Lucie.

I ripped it open to find an "I <3 SF" t-shirt and a whole hoard of Ghirardelli chocolates!!

Awesome!!

So, although I did not find my far away boy, I did get a new sleep t-shirt and many a taste explosion in bite size quantities.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I have managed to quit that nightmarish job at the pharmacy and bag myself a nice little number on the check in for a budget airline at Manchester Airport!!

See, good thing's do come to those who wait...

...keep your fingers crossed that my next thing is far away boy!!

Three Men, a Lady and a Highland Cattle Card

It would seem that one can have too much of a good thing...men!!

I have managed over the last month to gain, and lose, and gain again, precisely 3 men.

1. Old friend turned fuck buddy.

2. Blue eyes (drunken snog plus lots of texting)

3. My best friend and ex boyfriend

Ok, so number 1. Well it would seem I have gained our very sexual relationship back again...not sure why. He's not seeing this other girl but it seems fun. However, won't be overly bothered if we lose it again.

Number 2. Very drunken snog turned into a date (supposedly tonight) but when I ran into him on Saturday night whilst out with my brothers, never a good combination, turns out I have too much baggage for one week (my big brother got kicked out of a bar and so the rest follows...) and so he cancelled our date. I didn't want a full blown relationship, I just wanted to snog him again! Ha, oh well.

Then, finally, number 3. Not much I can say, other than that I need to stop making out with him if we are to make any move towards the good old friendship zone. I just can't help it. It's so comfortable. But I know we'll end up with broken hearts again.

Oddly enough, throughout all of this gaining and losing, gaining and losing, I realised I don't really want any of them. I want my far away boy who, thanks to my 19 year old brother have noticed I am actually in love with.

I think about him everyday and have been chasing boys I don't particular want as I want a distraction.

What's my plan of action I hear you cry??

I have written him a card with a highland cattle on the front (don't want any lovey dovey stuff) which, quite simply, tells him I'm in love with him. Don't know whether I'll even get a response, but I need to get it off my chest because I'm too much of a romantic just to walk away...even if it has been 6 weeks since we spoke.

Wish me luck at my last ditch attempt to get back the boy I actually want!! I'm not holding out much hope, but there is a little tiny glimmer there...

...if all else fails I might just get a puppy!!!