Alzeimer Passengers and the Importance of Polo Mints

Survival tips for a 10 hour night shift at the Airport:

1. Ensure you drink plenty of caffeine in either coffee or fizzy stimulation form

2. Be prepared to chat utter bullshit to crazy old ladies who have no idea what country they are in, let alone in an airport

3. Understand that you will laugh hysterically at nothing whatsoever due to sleep deprivation

4. Bring some light reading, such as Chat, to read about insane unimaginable people and events

5. Don't get over-excited about the possibility of meeting your all time favourite football player as you will just be disappointed

6. But always carry Polo mints with you, just in case

7. When it gets to 4 o'clock in the morning and your boss comes in, never be shy to flirt a little in order to clock off early, there's no shame in it!

8. Whilst rearranging the check-in hall take your high heels off, if you don't your blisters will just get worse, plus there's only crazy ladies and sleeping travelers around at 12am to get a whiff of your smelly shoes

9. Hold on to the fact that as you are leaving work at 5am the rest of your colleagues are just starting, there is some satisfaction in that

10. And finally, always remember that Spar in Terminal 3 is open 24 hours a day!!

Big Guns and Pencil Skirts

So, it's been a hectic couple of weeks!!

At the risk of sounding terribly cheesy I never thought changing jobs and meeting so many new people would make me so happy!!!

I mean I get up at 3am some mornings to deal with stroppy passengers and yet I still have a smile on my face. A smile that somehow shines through despite the inch thick of make up and red lipstick!!

Also, there are the hot pilots. Mmm. Can't help it, just something about their cocky swagger and sexy uniform that sends a thrill down my spine.

The airport police too with their big guns and cute little hats...

Ah, the life of a single girl!!

There's just a constant buzz in an airport because it's like a challenge to get the aircraft pushed back on time.

Oh and don't we all look like sex pots in our pencil skirts and red tops, especially when we add the high vis vest to go on to the apron.

I have learnt a great deal though...I now know my phonetic alphabet which my 87 year old Papa seemed to be reasonably proud of. Then again he is deaf so not sure he heard what I said!!

The only down side to this job would be the difficulty of getting to sleep as early as 7 o'clock and then resisting a nap when I come back from a shift!!

Like I said though, I have a plethora of men to ogle and always someone to make me laugh, so can't really complain!!

Might try a double whammy of wine and an anti-histamine tonight, then again, might be risking my life doing that!!

Yellow Y-Fronts and Red Lipstick

I have three major events due to happen in my life this weekend, the first being I will finish working for my slave driver of a pharmaceutical giant company and the second is that I will start working at Manchester Airport...

...and the third?

Choosing my obligatory red lipstick for my new position at the airport!!

How on earth does a girl choose this???

Don't get me wrong, I like my make up. But I'm more of a Barry M-purple-glitter-pot-girl than a glammed-up-red-lipstick-type.

I also need to find some kind of red or navy scruncy effort. Yeah, I know, so 80's right??!! Either that or red ribbon!! I feel like I'm going back to school!

That's the least of my problems though. I have to find a way to put up with ridiculous hour shifts and having to bike there due to my lack of a driver's license. How am I supposed to go from bedraggled biker to perfectly put together PSA??!!

Oh, almost forgot. Went to Liverpool for an awesome Hen weekend and dressed up as Circus theme...brilliant! The hen was a multi-coloured clown, it was sheer genius.

I, on the other hand, went as a snake dancer.

It would seem that snake dancing appeals to many men. Especially the Irish.

Several men attempted to snog the poor soft snake around my neck but when I asked them not to do that a couple, much to my horror, actually tried to stick their tongues down my throat!! I had to literally duck out of their way to avoid their wet mouths. Euch.

To add to that we seemed to adopt a group of male It'tai's (Italians) in our hostel.

They thought banging on our door in their yellow y-fronts and asking for a hairdryer first thing in the morning was sexy. We didn't have neither the heart nor the Italian to tell them otherwise. Even when these so called sexy pants turned up later being swung around the culprits head.

Oh dear.

Fun weekend had by all though!!

So, a quieter weekend ahead although much cheaper and a lot more life changing...

...any suggestions for my commute and the glamming up after it would be much appreciated :)

Doorstep Surprises

In recent day dreaming fantasies I have imagined myself coming home on a cold rainy Manchester evening to find my far away boy on my doorstep with a big smile and declarations of love.

Alas, every day since I sent my Highland Cattle card he has not been there.

Oh well, I sigh.

Every time questioning how long it takes for a card to get to this far away place (2000 miles if you were wondering). I think about our shitty postal service and just hope he hasn't got it yet and that is the reason I haven't heard even a peep of recognition.

Unlikely, I know, but a girl can dream (or be deluded).

So, today, note my surprise when I came home to a long-since promised parcel from my friend Lucie.

I ripped it open to find an "I <3 SF" t-shirt and a whole hoard of Ghirardelli chocolates!!

Awesome!!

So, although I did not find my far away boy, I did get a new sleep t-shirt and many a taste explosion in bite size quantities.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I have managed to quit that nightmarish job at the pharmacy and bag myself a nice little number on the check in for a budget airline at Manchester Airport!!

See, good thing's do come to those who wait...

...keep your fingers crossed that my next thing is far away boy!!